there never was a right time for curtains and blinds

i am hating myself again.
what happened last night happened.we never really planned to get there.did we?were you guessing this is bound to come?or maybe you were thinking about it right then when i called you on the phone.
this is such a bad start.
so you never imagined we could be doing this.give me that crap again.you were saying that we never could get started because it was me.hell it was me. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i smoke.yeah.drunkass bigtime.yeah.
why do we have to cover up ourselves?what are we hiding from?what are we running away from?what are you scared of?