of glassy eyed spies and stoned gods

i was sitting alone smoking in our condo's fire exit, watching flies hover my legs. there were a couple of them, feasting over a drop of a bottled energy drink i brought with me. they would nod over thier feast, pause for a while and would raise their heads into the heavens.were they looking at the sky too? imagine a handful of painted faced creatures who suddenly found their pot of manna. i felt like i was watching a ceremony. some kind of a devotion for some unknown force who has paved their way to this discovery. there was nothing but gray skies and unpromising buildings staring back at me whenever i stare at this window anyway. but somehow i always find myself being pulled by some force i never could name when i feel bored, depressed, or whatever feeling nags me at any moment.

there's always something about windows. it brings back childhood feelings of those rainy says when you had to sit beside the window and stare at raindrops falling on stones, and leaves and toys you may have left outside for rushing in the door in the vain atemps of not getting wet or your mom will kill you.

those high school days of desperately wanting to escape the four walls of the classroom when you had to sit and endure the torturing lectures in social science and physics.

or windows on emergency rooms when we wait for doctors to come out and proudly announce that mom's got a baby girl so we have to start thinking of names. bertha maybe.or angela. frida perhaps.or what the heck. she is liable to become a bisex in the future anyway.

windows in waiting outside offices whenever you wait for your name to be called when applying for a job.

windows in ticket booths and pawnshops.

windows in buses on the way home.

the window in our bedroom.

from a window,we wait. and watch what happens next. it's like a movie playing on its own pace. sometimes you are part of the scene. sometimes you just watch from a distance.but nobody could really ever tell what happens next.

but from our window, we stay detached. we watch them from a window. i take them from my window. maybe i really just wanna stay on my window.